MY MARATHON

I completed the Utah Valley Marathon on June 8, 2013.Since then, I have been thinking a lot over the last 2 weeks about this post. What am I going to write about MY Marathon? And by MY marathon I mean the race that I have given everything over the last 7 months to train for. This has been more than just a race, this has been a lifetime goal. Do I sugar coat it? Should I be totally honest with myself and everyone who reads this? Maybe I should just put the highlights...

I have decided that this was a learning experience. The last 7 months have been a learning experience. There has been good and bad along the way. So I am going to share the whole experience. Not just the parts I want to remember, but the whole thing, like it or not.

The last major run I did was 2 weeks before my marathon. I was so busy that I couldn't fit in more than a short run here and there. I told myself that I was saving up energy for the big day. That was mistake number one. Not because it weakened me physically, but because it made me mentally doubt if I could do it.

The night before I got everything ready and went to bed at a decent time. I got 5 hours of sleep before my alarm went off at 2:40am. Not a lot, but enough. This is where I started feeling sick to my stomach. I couldn't bare the thought of eating so I packed some food and headed to the bus pickup.

On the bus I sat next to a lady who would be running her 17th marathon. I took advantage of that and asked her a ton of questions. The feeling on the bus was electric as everyone buzzed with excitement. It was the longest bus ride ever. This is not a good sign when you know you will be running the same route in just a few hours.

We drove into Provo canyon, and were dropped off on what appeared to be a cattle farm.  Then we were herded, literally, into the cattle holding arena where there were probably 50, if not more, fires going with runners standing all around them. It was a site to see.

I joined in with a group that had one other first time marathoner from Vegas, and 3 women who basically do this for a living. I found out that they had been at the Boston Marathon during the bombing in April. They said this was their first marathon since then. They were trying to ease back into it with a low key "easy" one. At this point I knew I was surrounded by greatness. Here again I started to wonder what on earth I was doing.

At 15 minutes to start, I made my way to the forever long line of porta potties. I got in the back of a line, because every toilet had a line of at least 6 people waiting for it. Have you heard of "The Runners Poops"? Its a very real thing. I went pee one last time, ate a piece of bread with peanut butter on it as that was all I could choke down, and headed to the start line.

I placed myself with the 4:45 pacer. I wanted to be under 5 hours so I thought this would give me some leeway to fall behind and still meet my goal. At 6am sharp the gun went off. We bid good luck to those around us, put in our ipods and took off to run 26.2  freaking miles.

The first 6 miles were downhill. They passed by quickly and I was feeling good. I had passed the 4:45 pacer and was in with the 4:15 pacer. Going too fast these first miles was probably another big mistake. By this point we were in the main highway of Provo Canyon. They had an entire side of the road blocked off for us. The hills started and I decided to walk the big ones in order to conserve energy. I did a lot of people watching and was just trying to pace myself for what was to come. There was 1 or 2 porta potties every couple of miles that I watched people standing in line for, but I wanted to make it to the halfway point where I knew there would be a ton and I wouldn't have to wait in line.  Most people just ran off the road a little ways and peed there.

At mile 8 the cramps started. I usually get really bad PMS type cramps after I race, but today they decided to start during the race. There were a few times I was doubled over trying to walk I was in so much pain, but I pushed through. By mile 11 I had to pee soooo bad. But by this point I knew the closest bathrooms were at 13.1. I told myself I could make it. Just after mile 12 I knew it wasn't going to happen. I made it about 10 steps off the side of the road behind a bush and squatted right there. I knew nobody was going to care as there were at least 5 people per mile that had been doing the same thing this whole time.

At this point, between the hills and the cramps I was ready to be done. I fell behind in the 4:15 group, was passed by 4:30 and 4:45 somewhere in there as well. I made it to the 13.1 stop in time for the runner's "runs" to set in. Thank goodness for the porta potty. As I was chocking down a piece of banana, orange and some water I watched the 5:00 hour pacer go by as well. At this point I knew there was no way for me to make 5 hours and 6 wasn't looking good. I had officially lost my pride. My new goal at this point was to just finish. With that awesome attitude I started running again.

Miles 14, 15 and 16 passed in a trance-like state. By mile 17 my mind and body were giving out. The cramps were still bad and I couldn't pull myself out of the mental rut I was in. At mile 18 I hit "The Wall". 

I called Dan crying and told him I couldn't do it. He asked if I wanted him to come and get me, which is exactly what I wanted. But I realized then, that if I gave up now, I would probably never be this close to completing a marathon ever again. The thought of having to start over was enough to make me think I needed to tough this out. So with his words of encouragement and promise that he would be at the finish I hung up the phone.

My next call was to Dan's cousin Zac, who is the whole reason why I was doing this marathon. Originally he and at least one of his siblings were supposed to be running it with me but life got in the way and they couldn't do it. I told Zac that the only way I was going to finish this thing was if he came and ran the rest of it with me. He promised to meet me when I got out of the canyon, so with that hope I pushed forward again.

Miles 19 and 20 took forever. The cramps had finally subsided, but now my legs were in pain. I think all of the downhill that I had not trained for was finally catching up. I remember thinking that I was in so much pain, I would rather be giving birth without an epidural. I was coming out of the canyon and onto University Parkway which is the main thoroughfare through Provo. It was at this point I realized I hadn't seen a single bathroom since the halfway point. And I needed to pee, again. As I continued on I looked everywhere to spy a porta potty, a bush, a gas station...anywhere that I could go to the bathroom. There was nothing in site. Come to find out the day after the race, they sent out an apology email for the mix up and lack of bathrooms the entire 2nd half of the course.

And at mile 21, with my pride long gone, I lost my dignity as well. With the fear of getting a ticket for indecent exposure due to the amount of police, spectators, cars etc, I peed my pants.

Just shorty after, Zac caught up to me and made the mistake of asking how I was doing. Crying once again I relayed the last horrible 4.5 hours of my life, including wetting myself like a toddler.

He had brought me a coke of which I was able to keep down a few drinks and we continued on our way. The lower half of my body was in so much pain my running was slow enough that Zac hardly had to make an effort to keep up. A few times I had to stop all together and gather myself because I literally could not put one foot in front of the other. Zac helped by pointing out landmarks that were near the finish line.

Miles 22, 23 and 24 felt like an eternity. At this point a man on a 4-wheeler was kind enough to drive by and tell me he was the 6 hour pacer. It's a good thing I didn't have enough strength to lift my middle finger to him because I would have.

There were many people on the road cheering and honking as we passed by. I don't know if these people will ever understand how much their ringing of cowbells was appreciated.

And then I could see the finish line. It was still far away, but seeing it meant it really did exist at the end of these 26.2 miles. There was finally an end in sight. An end to the pain. And shortly thereafter, Dan showed up with the kids in the stroller. Boy were they a sight for sore eyes! So with my support team, we made it one more mile and I crossed that finish line where a finishers medal was placed around my neck.

Now that I have completed my marathon, the question I get asked is if I will do another one. And my answer is that I don't know. My experience was not a good one, but I figure it can't really get much worse. Yes I do feel that I left my pride and my dignity on that course, but I feel that I walked away with something much more important. Not only have I learned so much about myself though this process, but I now know that I can do anything, and I mean anything that I put my mind and heart into. I overcame my fear of failure. Was my marathon experience what I wanted it to be? No. Did I reach the goal I had set for myself? No. But the important thing is that I finished MY marathon.

My time was 6:07:51.
I placed 76 of 78 in my age group
I placed 631 of 640 of female runners
and I placed 1432 of 1448 overall.