It's Official...I'm One of THOSE moms

Do you remember all those times when you would look at a mother with her child, doing one of many things, and you would say to the person next to you "I will never be one of THOSE moms." Guilty as charged. I use to say this phrase to Dan on a daily basis "I will never..." and you can fill in the blank because I'm sure I've said them all, and now I find myself doing them all.

That's right. I said I would never give my baby formula. Done that. I said I would never let my child sleep in my bed. Done that. I said I would never have a problem making my child self sooth. I do. I also said I would never feed my child anything but homemade baby food. And the list goes on and on and continues to get longer with every day. The latest is the monitor...

I always knew that my baby would sleep in my room for a few months, and then as feedings grew to be less often I would move him to his crib in his own room. Sounds easy right? Wrong! I have been procrastinating it for at least the last 6 weeks. Okay fine, 3 months. Everyone has told me that once I move him out of our room not to get a monitor because it will just keep me up. Instead, the baby will make loud enough noises to wake you when the time comes. Seeing as we live in a small home, I thought this must surely be true and sounds easy enough.

Well, I broke down a few months ago and got a monitor. For nap time. No way was he sleeping through the night out of my room, even with the monitor. It has been nice being able to wander around the house with the monitor and know that I can still hear him as if I was in the same room. So I started thinking maybe I can handle it during the nighttime too.

So I tried it a couple of weeks ago. I put him to bed in his crib, then I went to sleep in my bedroom. Only there was not any sleeping on my end going on. The voices in my head were saying..."What was that? Did he just make a noise on the monitor? Wait, what if the monitor isn't even working? What if the batteries died? What if I can't hear him? What if there is nothing to hear? What if he pulled the blankets up over his head and is stuck? What if he quits breathing? What if he rolled to the edge of the crib? What if, what if, what if."

Finally, Eddie woke for his midnight feeding, so I fed him, put him back to sleep next to me, and I was finally able to sleep as well.

So now not only am I one of THOSE moms with a monitor, but a video monitor. Now I can hear and see my baby any time I want, without having to go in and out of his room all night long. So last night Eddie slept ALL NIGHT is his own room...and we both survived. I still had to resist bringing him back in to his bassinet, and at one point I seriously considered sleeping on his floor, you know, just in case. So tonight we will try it again, and hopefully it will get easier every time. And yes, it is true, I am one of THOSE moms.